I was going to write something very significant...

let's see if I can remember...

Driving back from Pittsburg today, I attempted communication with a divine
being. He showed me his perspective on my recent life.

He showed me so much love and grace throughout this that I am to the point of no regret, and that is saying a lot considering how I have felt as little as a month ago.

Now, as if that were not significant enough, here is something else, one of the most important lessons that God has ever revealed to me.

One year ago, at this time, I was in the middle of what the Christian community would call a "mountaintop experience." That is, I was in the word, and felt a nearness to God that I had never envisioned. Christians speak a lot about hills and valleys, and I had heard a lot about it, but I had no wisdom on the subject. What I had heard is that, in our spiritual walk, we will have hills and valleys, so eventually, people walking up the hill will reach the top, and have to go down. I just knew that I was traversing the largest hill I had ever been in contact with, and I liked it.

My thoughts were:

Why do I have to come down? Does this hills and valleys talk have any biblical backing?

I even asked a friend if that was the case. He didn't seem to have an answer that satisfied me. Much to my dismay, I came down. Not only came down, but I was the mental image you get when you hear the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. I have been in the valley now for about nine or ten months. It is not easy - any time it rains, your feet get soaking wet. So why did I have to come down?

The answer is found in John 15. We are the branches. Every branch that bears fruit He prunes, so that it will bear even more fruit. Everytime we go through a valley, it is not God punishing us, but God pruning us to bear more fruit. Our problem is that we have taken this hill-valley thing way too far. We associate going through the valley with sinning, but it was not meant to be that way. When we go through the valley, that is when it becomes most difficult to avoid the flesh and follow Christ. So some of us even justify ourselves, substituting the words "sinning" with "going through the valley." The important thing is to remember that valleys are a necessary part of walking with Christ, and submitting to Him is the hardest in these periods.

For whatever reason, my thoughts feel somewhat disjointed on this post. Perhaps next time I will be able to paraphrase this thought a little better. I had no problem saying it on tuesday during bible study. Oh well.

mere thoughts

It rained today and I doubt it is done. We had a meet but it got cancelled. And I should have been able to go recruiting but all the high school meets also are probably rained out.
I am reading Chesterton's Everlasting Man. I think I have been trying to finish it for about 5 months now. It is even more difficult to read than Orthodoxy. There are some points where he puts everything together quite beautifully, but most of the time the writing is so intellectual, you do not remember the point he was trying to make to begin with, which makes it seem like it is all very disconnected and has no point. He does have a point, but most days I do not have the intellectual endurance to keep up. And most of the time, I have questions like "So why is he talking about this?"
I am approaching the point where my looks are strange enough to get a double take. I have noticed it. People you pass by, they make the kind of eye contact that makes me wonder for a split second if I know them. Eye contact with a hint of familiarity. I am unkempt enough to illicit this reaction from others. My beard is nearing a personal record for volume, and my hair, I am pretty sure, is the longest it has ever been. And I think I will be able to go another month before I have to do anything about it.
I am very tempted to start on my book, but a title alludes me. The 8th Day would be good, but there was an art exhibit at Arizona state that had that title. I don't know if that title would be sued or what. I doubt it, but one can never be too careful.
Also, I applied for a job at Florida International yesterday. Not any big expectations for it, but at least I actually am trying. That's about it. I gotta go.
-s

24

My age is now synonomous with a television show.
Today started out not so good. I spent a lot of my time by myself at certain track meets. But I prayed a lot. His heart for me is good, but I get so irritated at myself for making the same mistakes over and over. I will probably go home tomorrow (22nd), but I am not certain on what to do when I get there. I would see Devon and Sam, but I don't think they'll be back yet. I got some good ideas for my story today, and should probably write them down. I need to trim my fingernails.
(this was just an obligatory post, as it was my birthday. I will go into more detail later.)

-skolnick

learning

It has been awhile since my last post. Nearly two weeks. Times are fairly good now. The last couple of days, it has been difficult to find intimacy with God, but that is only because of a lack of persistance on my part. One important thing I have been learning is that I have to have faith that Jesus is who He said He is, and more importantly, can do what He says He can do. Obviously, this is plain and simple; but I often find myself ignoring this truth. I must believe that he can not only deliver me from the consequences of my past sins, but as a new creation in Christ, sin no longer has the same grip on me as before. I am not saying that I live without sin, but we know it is possible to live in this exact moment nearing the life that Jesus wants us to live. Nobody's looking for or expecting perfection, but it is within reach for us to follow Christ in this moment. Paul said that if he sins, then he knows that it is sin living within him, not he that sins. That is why we must put our flesh under the submission of the new creation. I continually pray that I will have the faith that Christ is my deliverer and conquerer.

I am way behind for the lebanon trip. I should ask God if it should be a bigger priority...although I think I already know the answer.

I am embracing Chanute more. I am starting to see that He does have a plan even if I don't have the wisdom to acknowledge it. I am finally optimistic about what God can accomplish here and now I realize I shouldn't have been apathetic to it.

I bought Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe. It was expensive, but it is one of my favorite movies. Watched it with a couple of the athletes and did my best to keep from tearing up... especially in the scene where Aslan is about to die.

Lent is almost over. For about half of it, I ignored the main idea behind it. That is, when I feel like eating a burger or logging onto facebook, I need to remember that I am doing this in remembrance of the forty days our Lord spent in the desert without food or water. I need to remember that I am "crucified with Christ."

I am nearly addicted to Waterdeep. In the last three weeks or so, I have found much of the music I used to listen to somewhat depressing. The last few weeks I have pretty much only listened to Waterdeep, which is amazing, considering that before Ryan gave me that cd, I had barely even listened to anything by them. But the buzz I think is slowly wearing off.

That about wraps it up. I pray that God gives me strength and grace for this next week, but also focus. That I may not get wrapped up into affairs that keep me from looking to Him.

-skolnick