Freelance poetry

here are a few things I have written recently:

First, a piece honoring my sandals, which, this summer, saw me safely through Chicago, England, a war in Lebanon, Jordon, and back to England again, where they became too much of a nuisance. It got to the point where it felt like there was more foot support in walking barefoot than in wearing those, so I had to ditch them. I wanted to wear them until they broke, but these were not going to break. Sure, they had holes in the soles and I would stub my big toe all the time because of how worn they were in that place, but that is essentially why I must honor them.

An Ode to Sandals:

My pair of flip-flops,
They died today.
I just walked by
And threw them away.
It was a difficult
Thing for me to do.
(Getting rid of
my best pair of shoes).
I wept very much
and was obviously grieved.
I miss them already;
There is no relief.
"So what?" you say.
"Who cares?" I hear.
My friend, you would care
If you could see my tears.
So, I decided I might
Commemorate on a whim
The sandals that took me everywhere,
And hence, I shall describe them:
Their hue consists mostly of khaki.
Every time I bring them home,
My mother has called them tacky.
They are quite tattered
around the edge of the sole.
Throughout there are impressions
In the shapes of bowls.
And let's not forget
The hole in the left heel.
It's the size of a half-dollar.
Every rock I step on I feel.
Finally, things became kaput.
And I ended up barefoot.

(written in the first couple of days of august-06, with some slight alterations just now.)



and here is another one, best described as a personal challenge molded after the sermon on the mount:


Hunger and Thirst

If you don't intend
To preach to the poor,
If the only heart
You want healed is yours,
If you are not willing
To let the captives go free,
If you are refusing
To let the blind see,
If you don't intend
On raising the dead,
Then don't even bother
To get out of bed.



yep, it is kind of simple, but it has some inspirational value.

that's enough for this entry; more on my summer and other thoughts later.

school's out for the summer

well.

This turbulent year is finally over. And it is ending on a high note. I feel very good about what is in store for next year, be it in Chanute or elsewhere. I have had a lot of fun here. Once I got over the differences of things, it became very easy to do my job. I still have some problems recruiting, but it looks like we will have a solid class coming in next year. It's weird. So far, I have applied for two jobs that are much better than mine, and I am not even sure that I would want to take them if they were offered. I mean, I am just starting to like this place. Unfortunately, there are people that I will probably never see again. But that will happen whether I stick around another year or not. I regret not getting more writing done, and although I squandered much of my time here, I think I made up for it in the last few months. I wish I knew more of what the future held for me, but I guess it is just a matter of trusting in Christ.

Although it has been a month since I went back to Norman, I am in no hurry to return. Sure I have friends there I would like to see, but I have friends here to whom I do not want to say farewell. And that reaction is completely surprising to me. My mind has difficulties believing my heart because of this. I would have never believed it would be possible for me to be indifferent towards Norman. And now, it is even more drastic. I feel like I may even prefer Chanute. But it is crazy to even start to talk like that. It started with the breakup, but I think a larger reason for my change of heart is that I am spending more time around other believers. When you can rely on others that are believing on the name of Jesus, it can be a powerful and uplifting thing.

I was going to write something very significant...

let's see if I can remember...

Driving back from Pittsburg today, I attempted communication with a divine
being. He showed me his perspective on my recent life.

He showed me so much love and grace throughout this that I am to the point of no regret, and that is saying a lot considering how I have felt as little as a month ago.

Now, as if that were not significant enough, here is something else, one of the most important lessons that God has ever revealed to me.

One year ago, at this time, I was in the middle of what the Christian community would call a "mountaintop experience." That is, I was in the word, and felt a nearness to God that I had never envisioned. Christians speak a lot about hills and valleys, and I had heard a lot about it, but I had no wisdom on the subject. What I had heard is that, in our spiritual walk, we will have hills and valleys, so eventually, people walking up the hill will reach the top, and have to go down. I just knew that I was traversing the largest hill I had ever been in contact with, and I liked it.

My thoughts were:

Why do I have to come down? Does this hills and valleys talk have any biblical backing?

I even asked a friend if that was the case. He didn't seem to have an answer that satisfied me. Much to my dismay, I came down. Not only came down, but I was the mental image you get when you hear the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. I have been in the valley now for about nine or ten months. It is not easy - any time it rains, your feet get soaking wet. So why did I have to come down?

The answer is found in John 15. We are the branches. Every branch that bears fruit He prunes, so that it will bear even more fruit. Everytime we go through a valley, it is not God punishing us, but God pruning us to bear more fruit. Our problem is that we have taken this hill-valley thing way too far. We associate going through the valley with sinning, but it was not meant to be that way. When we go through the valley, that is when it becomes most difficult to avoid the flesh and follow Christ. So some of us even justify ourselves, substituting the words "sinning" with "going through the valley." The important thing is to remember that valleys are a necessary part of walking with Christ, and submitting to Him is the hardest in these periods.

For whatever reason, my thoughts feel somewhat disjointed on this post. Perhaps next time I will be able to paraphrase this thought a little better. I had no problem saying it on tuesday during bible study. Oh well.

mere thoughts

It rained today and I doubt it is done. We had a meet but it got cancelled. And I should have been able to go recruiting but all the high school meets also are probably rained out.
I am reading Chesterton's Everlasting Man. I think I have been trying to finish it for about 5 months now. It is even more difficult to read than Orthodoxy. There are some points where he puts everything together quite beautifully, but most of the time the writing is so intellectual, you do not remember the point he was trying to make to begin with, which makes it seem like it is all very disconnected and has no point. He does have a point, but most days I do not have the intellectual endurance to keep up. And most of the time, I have questions like "So why is he talking about this?"
I am approaching the point where my looks are strange enough to get a double take. I have noticed it. People you pass by, they make the kind of eye contact that makes me wonder for a split second if I know them. Eye contact with a hint of familiarity. I am unkempt enough to illicit this reaction from others. My beard is nearing a personal record for volume, and my hair, I am pretty sure, is the longest it has ever been. And I think I will be able to go another month before I have to do anything about it.
I am very tempted to start on my book, but a title alludes me. The 8th Day would be good, but there was an art exhibit at Arizona state that had that title. I don't know if that title would be sued or what. I doubt it, but one can never be too careful.
Also, I applied for a job at Florida International yesterday. Not any big expectations for it, but at least I actually am trying. That's about it. I gotta go.
-s

24

My age is now synonomous with a television show.
Today started out not so good. I spent a lot of my time by myself at certain track meets. But I prayed a lot. His heart for me is good, but I get so irritated at myself for making the same mistakes over and over. I will probably go home tomorrow (22nd), but I am not certain on what to do when I get there. I would see Devon and Sam, but I don't think they'll be back yet. I got some good ideas for my story today, and should probably write them down. I need to trim my fingernails.
(this was just an obligatory post, as it was my birthday. I will go into more detail later.)

-skolnick

learning

It has been awhile since my last post. Nearly two weeks. Times are fairly good now. The last couple of days, it has been difficult to find intimacy with God, but that is only because of a lack of persistance on my part. One important thing I have been learning is that I have to have faith that Jesus is who He said He is, and more importantly, can do what He says He can do. Obviously, this is plain and simple; but I often find myself ignoring this truth. I must believe that he can not only deliver me from the consequences of my past sins, but as a new creation in Christ, sin no longer has the same grip on me as before. I am not saying that I live without sin, but we know it is possible to live in this exact moment nearing the life that Jesus wants us to live. Nobody's looking for or expecting perfection, but it is within reach for us to follow Christ in this moment. Paul said that if he sins, then he knows that it is sin living within him, not he that sins. That is why we must put our flesh under the submission of the new creation. I continually pray that I will have the faith that Christ is my deliverer and conquerer.

I am way behind for the lebanon trip. I should ask God if it should be a bigger priority...although I think I already know the answer.

I am embracing Chanute more. I am starting to see that He does have a plan even if I don't have the wisdom to acknowledge it. I am finally optimistic about what God can accomplish here and now I realize I shouldn't have been apathetic to it.

I bought Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe. It was expensive, but it is one of my favorite movies. Watched it with a couple of the athletes and did my best to keep from tearing up... especially in the scene where Aslan is about to die.

Lent is almost over. For about half of it, I ignored the main idea behind it. That is, when I feel like eating a burger or logging onto facebook, I need to remember that I am doing this in remembrance of the forty days our Lord spent in the desert without food or water. I need to remember that I am "crucified with Christ."

I am nearly addicted to Waterdeep. In the last three weeks or so, I have found much of the music I used to listen to somewhat depressing. The last few weeks I have pretty much only listened to Waterdeep, which is amazing, considering that before Ryan gave me that cd, I had barely even listened to anything by them. But the buzz I think is slowly wearing off.

That about wraps it up. I pray that God gives me strength and grace for this next week, but also focus. That I may not get wrapped up into affairs that keep me from looking to Him.

-skolnick

Well. My spring break is over. Back to coaching and recruiting and being an RA in the middle of nowhere. But it really is not all that bad. I believe it was the first time ever that I wanted to come back here instead of staying in Norman. Frankly, April might be the first month ever without visiting Norman, and I really do not mind. And although it was not exactly an easy thing to go through God has given me the grace to walk me through it. He has shown me that I may harbour bitterness that seems unrecognizable from the outset, but can lead to death. He has shown me that I relied too much on my relationships in Norman as opposed to my relationship with Him. I found that, when I am in any kind of relationship, I should do my best to include Him in everything I do. "Seek first the kingdom," which I have not been doing lately. I do have faith that he will turn this situation into something even better than what He already has. I thank God that He can put me in a place where I can be led entirely by Him.

my first entry

well. not to be redundant, but this is my first entry on a blog. I started this because I have a lot of free time, and I need to practice my writing skills. I've been here in kansas since august; that's about seven months of exile. I call it exile, but it's not nearly that bad- I still get to go back to Norman about once or twice a month. But it feels like exile. I don't get to see my friends too often; and I have felt disconnected from the world more often than I would like. Still, I do believe that God is working something in me- and I think that, in the end, it will be worth it. I suppose I am nominally concerned over who will be reading this, but I have resolved not to tell anyone about it, so for now it is mainly a personal thing. I was tempted to tell one of my friends about it the other day (yesterday). And that's pretty bad considering that I had not even posted anything yet. I try to thank God for His mercy and ask for it every day. Wisdom is also something I ask for a lot. The team is doing alright, and I am interested to see how much improvement can be made during outdoor season. I still need to get my passport, but I will probably wait until spring break. Hopefully, I will be able to keep myself from making transmissions of this nature in the future. This isn't meant to be another personal journal; I would like it to be more like a place where I can talk candidly, but not necessarily about my own experiences. That's all.