the dormant genius of skolnick

The Anti-Hipster Manifesto

2010-11-19T14:00:00.009-06:00

or: Confessions of an Anti-Hipster; or

The Anti-Hipster Apology; or

Why Would I Drink PBR?;

other working titles: Meaninglessness and its effects on nothing.

Anti-Hipster:

Often mistaken as a hipster, but actually the complete opposite. Anti-hipsters can be difficult to describe because unlike an actual hipster, they do not have definite characteristics. An anti-hipster may have heard the term hipster before, but being unfarmiliar with labels, they wouldn't know what a hipster actually is or how to spot one. While hipsters are actually very unoriginal while claiming to be so very original, every anti-hipster is completely different from another. A hipster shops at Urban Outfitters, an anti-hipster gets their clothes from a number of places. They may make them, find them, steal them, or just buy them from any store they please, because they are not concerned with labels, which actually means they arent anti-hipsters. They probably arent anything. Usually spotted with a group of almost-hipsters or by themselves, the anti-hipster is a rare sighting.-Urban Dictionary

I shall begin by saying that I have quite a few personality quirks. One of these quirks involve the tendency to avoid anything which has suddenly and quickly become popular, be it music or style, recycling or grammar. Usually, such are passing fads that have their brief moment in the sun, only to be tossed away the next day, like (something that does that). It's not that I think that whatever the fad may be is bad, it's that I just don't want to get carried away with whatever everybody else thinks is cool; I don't care how talented Maroon 5 is, I will resist all my friends who say they're so great, if only to be a contrast to all of the hype.

But this isn't about Maroon 5 (as much as you would like it to be). The point is, I avoid fads like the plague. If the plague were popular (again), I would avoid it. And throughout the years, this attitude has served me well:

-I didn't buy a house when everyone was doing that and, as I understand it, buying houses caused the economy to collapse.

-I never hated the Dixie Chicks. I don't know that there is a positive result of this, but whatever.

More recently, I have found that my narrative has lent itself to living amongst, what society has termed, "Hipsters." As a result, many of my actions are reactionary to what could be called the Hipster-movement. A counter-culture to the counter culture.

This led to a friend of mine asking a very interesting question a few weeks ago:

Him: Hey, (my name), Did you know that you were a hipster?

Me: Actually, yes. I just figured it out last week.

I had come to such a realization purely by accident. I mean, the definition of a hipster is somewhat subjective and fickle, but here is a snippet of urbandictionary.com's take on it:

Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20's and 30's that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter. 1

Conversely, I value: dependent thinking, counter to the counter-culture, regressive politics, depreciation of art and indie-rock, ineptitude, obtuseness and mundane conversation.

But essentially, I am just embracing an alternative viewpoint for the sake of being alternative. Which is a defining characteristic of hipsters. It was only a matter of time until their clothing, music, and grammar caught up to me.

Music is a prime example. I will generally give music a chance. I will listen to anything that the "music snobs" deem offensive or unworthy. Anything except what they are currently listening to. I won't listen to that. And even when I feel like I've gotten better- listening to Arcade Fire (by the way, what is that?) and Sufjan (not a name), because I shouldn't let what others do effect me- I don't care what they think, etc. And that is a perfectly hipster reaction.

This goes along with my (non-apple) computer and (non-iphone) phone. These stereotypical hipster accessories I avoid. But if a real hipster found themselves in a culture where everybody had iphones (as I do), would they own them? Probably not.

The real trick, I think is to prove someone isn't a hipster. Next time you see someone wearing a Wal-Mart t-shirt and listening to Joel Osteen and you think he's behind the times, think again: He's just a hipster being ironic.

Iron Man 2 Review (and also a review of last night in general)

2010-05-14T00:52:00.009-05:00

Dear Internet,

As a way of parting company, last night, my dgroup and I decided to partake in that ancient ritual of going to the picture show. We went to see the latest craze amongst the kids these days, Iron Man 2. And although it has received high marks from many, I left the theater wondering about all the loose ends... It started about ninety seconds into the film, when the camera panned over a Time Magazine cover, I thought to myself,

I don't remember Iron Man being Time's Man of the Year
...
Nor on trial in front of a Judicial Senate committee (or whatever that was).
...
I'm not sure these events actually even happened!

I was going to have something in here calling the Iron Man suit a 'wardrobe malfunction', but I realized that phrase got overused and unfunny 3 seconds after I heard it the first time. Actually, those three seconds were fairly pedantic as well.

Also, there where many other questions that never got answered. Although, that was partially because I chose to escort myself off the premises a bit prematurely(regardless of what the employees of a certain Warren Theater tell you...but boy, I can tell you they do hate liveblogging). Nevertheless, I can assure you the rest of the movie went something like this:

Blah Blah Blah Tony Stark
Blah Blah Blah Gwyneth Paltrow
Blah Blah Blah Rosemay Clooney (I temporarily forgot her name).
Jon Favreau
Sam Jackson

So instead, I am going to tell you what should have happened based on what I watched at home. The movie I watched was Jurassic Park, and I am giving you an italicized critique of it, staring Iron Man. (It's italicized mostly because I can't work my blog's dashboard).

Summer hasn't even hit, and the blockbusters are ROAR-ing out of the gate. That's right, our first big flick of the season, Iron Man vs. Jurassic Park (or IMVJP), was a timeless, futuristic, galvanizing thrill ride. Too scared to go outside? That's ok- Iron Man is here to protect America and her interests. Unfortunately, this doesn't include rich British guys that own islands of the coast of Costa Rica. Robert Downey is memorable as the comedic Tony Stark (who eventually gets eaten) Sam Jackson reprises his role as guy in lab coat that gets eaten. Rosemary Clooney is either granddaughter or grandmother of the rich British guy (who, if you didn't know, got eaten at the end of the first book). Gwyneth Paltrow plays a velociraptor. Who kills everyone. Still, the Iron Man suit is toxic for dinosaurs, so she dies, too. Fin

Next, I proceeded to the Greek vs. Geeks birthday party, where people dress as one or the other option.

Good party/dance time with everyone. Hey, look. No italics.

pax.

p.s. - for all those Iron Man 2 apologists out there, the movie was actually pretty entertaining.

Proof of purchase

2010-02-12T14:40:00.006-06:00

As a direct result of my friend L'chaim, I have put it upon myself to present another poem of my own. (In addition to the posts from November, 2006).

Proof of Purchase

Twilight’s glare, Love is lost.

Was the pain, worth the cost?

Adam’s plight, nigh forgot.

With Love’s life, what have you bought?

In the press, Love’s defeat.

Grief until, work’s complete.

Love betrayed, charge declared.

Fight is lost, no one spared.

Beyond the glare, Love is lost.

Was the price, worth the cost?

Foundations shake, tears are shed.

Love not found, amongst the dead.

‘Tis confirmed, faith survived.

Joy restored, Love alive!

Morning’s glare, Love redeemed,

Cost was naught, what it seemed.

IT'S OFFICIAL - SKOLNICK SAYS SAYONARA, SOONERS

2010-01-07T15:26:00.004-06:00

Say it ain't so, Skolnick

NORMAN (Reuters)- Bleakness is never something to be embraced. And it was certainly bleak on this cold January day, when the most prolific philosopher to be seen in a generation decided to turn his back on the university who had welcomed him back only one year ago. At a press conference yesterday, Skolnick announced his intentions to forgo the final years of his amateur status, and pursue a career in professional philosophy.

"At this point, there is nothing left for me to accomplish at the collegiate level," he said. "I feel I have honed my philosophy to the point that I am going to declare myself eligible for April's Philosophical Draft. At this point, I have not contacted an agent, but I am willing to receive gifts from them. I am registered at Pottery Barn. And T. J. Maxx."

Let no one say this conclusion caught them off guard. From his website, www.iwant$$.com, to his constant tweets ("i turn pro soon," "i can't wait to get out of here," "i hope noone reads my twitter"), to his incomplete first semester, to his incessant taunting of professors ("nice try, no-brain," "not in my house"), to an injury riddled summer which made a spectator out of him.
Nevertheless, this leaves some large shoes to fill in Sooner country.

"Needless to say, he was always looking at his other options, and he felt that this best suited him," said a university spokesperson. "Are we distraught? Yes. Do we have a difficult time thinking of a reason to wake up in the morning? Of course. Is it even possible to begin to search for a replacement of someone so prolific? No. Do we have any reason to hope at all? I can't think of one."

It was depressing. But, for obvious reasons there is plenty hope to be had amongst the professional philosophy aficionados. And with the philosophical draft just around the corner, the league is abuzz with plenty of speculation on which team will be fortunate enough to select him.

"Oh, it's a forgone conclusion for sure. Skolnick will certainly be selected first," said one league GM. "The only question is which team will offer enough for a trade. The Nietzchites have the first choice, but they won't give it up without someone offering them the whole farm. They have been the philosophical dormats for awhile, now and they do not intend to stay there.

"Their other concern is Skolnick's philosophical style. The Nietzchites do have incentive to exchange their pick because their style does not mesh well with the abilities of Skolnick. They are afraid of corruption from the inside out. This, of course, leaves plenty of reason to speculate about others who are willing to deal for the choice- Wittgensteinians, Kierkegaardians, Cartesians."

The landscape of philosophy is in the process of a great change. On the brink of oblivion, it had been forgotten. Can it be saved, resurrected from the apathetic place it has in the minds of the public? Only time will tell, but for now, it looks like it will be worth the wait.

the plague

2009-10-12T18:13:00.003-05:00

the swine flu is not the problem.
the Nobel Peace Prize is no cause for alarm.
Our enemy has shown its face. Shall we cower into the night?

or

SHALL WE FIGHT!!!!!!!!

"That's what she said."

Since when is a phrase our enemy? A threat to our national security? Something that makes baby Jesus cry?

Well, I believe it is time for the smoke alarm to be rung. Really, since when is it considered acceptable to take the catch phrase of an acknowledged dolt and make it our own? Since now.

I have no problem with Michael Scott using the phrase. He actually does well with it; the writers are actually poking fun at the type of people who would embrace that kind of humor- and, inadvertently, they found that this group consisted of: most of their viewing audience. You can even tell by the writing, that they are already tiring of this schtick. Mr Scott, of recent has used it quite sparingly. They don't want to write him into a corner, so they are trying to let us forget about it. But I doubt that will happen.

I used to be like you. I was once as carefree and happy. A few people were saying "that's what she said," but they mostly consisted of those who are unable to acheive on a level field of play. Then, slowly at first, intelligent and coherent people started following suit. But they grew in number, that number unintelligible in so many ways. Now, the contaigion has spread so far that anyone could be a potential carrier. I can no longer listen for signs of acuity and base my conclusion on this. The dreaded phrase could emanate from any local source.

My only source of hope is that, by some miracle of God, there will be some sort of vaccine or cure developed before the disease reaches myself and the ones I love. Current research has come to a standstill, but if I understand correctly, we can use frog DNA to complete the code, and Bingo! A cure! Now, just like any good vaccine, this one gets you a little sick with the virus you were trying to avoid in the first place. So, if you would just bear with me temporarily...

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

THA--

THAT-

th-

(heavy breathing)

(heavy breathing continues)

(I'm kind of out of shape)

I think I am done. And that's all it takes. If you want to be completely healed of saying something that is totally not funny at all (only if you are smart; if you aren't, then don't worry about it), then say the dreaded phrase 4-10 times and ye shall be healed (1).

1. Ye may not be healed. It's really up to ye.

Movie Revision #2: Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith

2009-06-05T11:40:00.005-05:00

Hello, Friends.

For the second installment, we will be discussing the third (and final) prequel to George Lucas' Star Wars Saga. As with the last time, the plot will be treated like a chess game. The premise is that one move is made to change it for the better. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, a few important details:

Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) is a whiny protector of the republic, whom everyone believes is going to be a great catalyst for change due to a misunderstood prophecy. If only I had a nickle for every time that happened.
In seeking to protect his wife, he accepts turning to the dark side, only he ends up killing her.
At no point in the story are we ever convinced that this querulous jedi will ever gain the capacity to turn into the Darth Vader we came to know in the plots of episodes IV, V, and VI.

We, of course, know that Anakin is supposed to embody the characteristics of Vader even at an early age. Does he ever reach more than that Seinfeld-esque high comedic pitch anger? I say no.
My advice is, if you're going for comedy, why not go for broke?

Move:

Insert G.O.B. Bluth as the new Anakin.

For those of you unfamiliar with Arrested Development, Gob (Will Arnett) is the eldest of the Bluth children, and brother of the main protagonist, Michael Bluth.

References can be found here, here, here.

This would fix the problem most people have with this movie, namely, Hayden Christensen's portrayal of such an iconic evil figure. What I encourage you to do next time is insert Will Arnett and some of his classic lines as Gob Bluth to enhance your viewing experience. I went ahead and did some of the work for you, recreating most of the last dialogues between OBI-WAN and ANAKIN:

OBI-WAN:

What are you doing here? Did that Queen of Naboo throw you out?

ANAKIN:

She's not that Senator, she's my Queen. And she's a senator or something.

OBI-WAN:

What's her first name? Quickly.

ANAKIN:

Crindee!

OBI-WAN:

Name's not Crindee, Anakin.

ANAKIN:

Ah, Mace Windu. Nope that's the Jedi. Well, Well, she's GOT a name. And I'm gonna find out what it is. And I'm gonna make a pun on it. And that's what I'll call her. Bad example: if her name's Leia, I'll call her Lame-O.

OBI-WAN:

You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until now . . . until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.

ANAKIN:

Yeah, like the chosen one of the prophecy needs to worry about the Dark Side. COME ON!
Zero hour, Obi-Wan. It's the end of the line. I'm the chosen one. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over. I have brought peace, justice, freedom, and security to my new Empire.

OBI-WAN:
Your new empire? Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic ... to democracy.

ANAKIN:
Then there's me. The joker. The goofball. The Padawan.
[quickly makes a Jedi's gesture with his hands at OBI-WAN]

OBI-WAN:
I thought you were gonna do a little lightning ball there.

ANAKIN:
I was. It didn't go off.

ANAKIN lashes out at OBI-WAN, and they begin a ferocious sword fight.
After much fighting, DARTH SIDIOUS discovers what remains of ANAKIN/DARTH VADER.

DARTH SIDIOUS:
Lord Vader, can you hear me?

DARTH VADER:
Yes, My Master.

DARTH VADER looks around the room.

DARTH VADER:
Where is Padme? Is she safe, is she all right?

DARTH SIDIOUS:
I'm afraid she died. ... it seems in your anger, you killed her.

DARTH VADER:
I've made a huge mistake...

I hope that now you can thoroughly enjoy Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
to its fullest. My apologies to those who are unfamiliar with either, but they say to write what you know...

Plot Revisions #1: Lord of The Rings Edition

2009-05-15T16:17:00.005-05:00

Premise:

In one move, vastly improve the plot of a movie, book, or epic poem.

Case #1:

Lord of the Rings.

Revision:

Give the palantir of Orthanc to Treebeard.

The palantir of Orthanc (pictured above), for those who don't know, was an orb in the Lord of the Rings series. This orb contained considerable power for those who held it. Yet, coupled with this power was the potential for undesired consequences. For the palantir imparts clarity of vision to those who hold it. They can communicate with the holders of other palantirs, and use them to see what is happening through the other portal. Sauron, the story's antagonist uses the palantir he has access to in order to manipulate and subvert the actions of those who would fight against him.

Gandalf is a very competent leader and military strategist. As far as that goes, no one in the storyline rivals his abilities. But where he went wrong was with the palantir. Gandalf gains access to it after the Ents defeat Saruman at Isengard. He keeps hold of it, until Pippen nabs it from him while he is sleeping. He (Pippen) has contact with Sauron through the palantir, and fortuitously sees a dying tree (simbolizing Gondor). So, Gandalf and friends find out where Sauron is plotting his next attack, yet at the cost of Pippen becoming Sauron's main target, and at the risk of Pippen letting him know something very costly (Frodo's quest to destroy the ring). Now, this obviously didn't happen, but it could have.

It is at Isengard, when Gandalf first gets the palantir, that he could have decided differently.

So why oh why, you ask, should we give the palantir to Treebeard? He knows nothing.

Exactly. You grab the palantir from Pippen when he first picks it up, hand it to Treebeard and say,

"Go to town."

"Buuuut whaat shaaall IIII doooo wiiiiiiith thiiiiiis?"

"I don't care, just don't lose it, and keep your hands on it at all times."

"Ooohhkaaay."

He takes it, and off towards his duties as keeper of Isengard.

He takes the palantir, peering into it.

Sauron, sensing the use of one of the orbs, quickly attempts to seize this opportunity to bend the will of his enemies towards his own. An ominous, peircing voice enters Treebeard's head.

"I SEE YOU!! WAIT. WHO IS THIS?"

" I am not going to tell you my name, not yet at any rate. For one thing it would take a long while: my name is growing all the time, and I've lived a very long, long time; so my name is like a story. Real names tell you the story of things they belong to in my language, in the Old Entish as you might say. It is a lovely language, but it takes a very long time saying anything in it, because we do not say anything in it, unless it is worth taking a long time to say, and to listen to."

"TELL ME OF YOUR PLANS. WHAT OF THE RING, THE WAR!"

'Hoom, hum, I have not troubled about the Great Wars. They mostly concern Elves and Men. That is the business of Wizards: Wizards are always troubled about the future. I do not like worrying about the future. I am not altogether on anybody's side, because nobody is altogether on my side, if you understand me: nobody cares for the woods as I care for them, not even Elves nowadays. "

"HAVE YOU NOT ANYTHING OF VALUE?"

"'When Summer lies upon the world,
and in a noon of gold

("NO. NOT POETRY. NOT LIKE THIS.")

Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves
the dreams of trees unfold;

("GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!")

When woodland halls are green and cool,
and wind is in the West,

(We see the Red Eye, the Evil Eye, the Lidless Eye desperately searching for the source of its antagonism)

Come back to me! Come back to me,

(The Lidless Eye begins to close. It is still fighting off the intense dreariness, but the soothing low, hoarse voice is too much)

and say my land is best!"

(The Eye is at rest. Treebeard looks back into the palantir, and is about to begin lecturing Sauron on the evils of the orcs, but he noticed his audience captive with sleep, decides not to attempt to wake him. )

What happens next? Well, Frodo and Sam now have a lot easier road to destroy the ring. If the eye went to sleep, it would seem unlikely that the hoards of mordor would still be motivated to fight, given the loss of their leader. He was indescribably important, and terribly motivating to their cause. So that's all. That's it movie over, and we're done in less than 2 hours. Who doesn't like that?

Sarcasm addendum

2009-05-04T16:46:00.003-05:00

I was not planning on making a series out of this, but...

I'm still not going to.

I did, however, want a chance to respond to a majority of the comments without posting 11 times on the page. I also wanted to elaborate on the things I did say. To those who have ventured in expounding on the subject, thank you. For the most part, Matt (catfish) Gately was right. My intention was not a general apology for past wrongs-for that, schedule an individual appointment. I do recognize my shortcomings, but the important thing is recognizing the tendency one might have to make such comments. From a believer's perspective, once we become aware of something that is keeping us from entering the fullness of God, we are no longer allowed to plead ignorance:

Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, "What? Are we blind too?"
Jesus said, "If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.

Television plays a more than mild part in molding the character that we present to others. One general attitude towards the world is one of apathy. But apathy's most viable opponnent is criticism. You can either not care about anything, or care about everything, and proceed to complain about it. I think it says something about our society, when the most common response to the phrase:

"I didn't vote"

is

"Well, now you can't complain."

Oh, really? Well it just so happens that I am in the process of downsizing my complaints dept. as well (maybe for nothing other than this). But the spirit of criticism lives on. When we are subjected to its ways, its life results in a type of death for us. But I don't need to convince anyone. We know it from its fruit, the heaviness of which we have all experienced. Eventually our spirits are worn down, and we do acquiesce to its advances. After awhile, we stop even noticing its effects. Not because we have become desensitized, mind you, but, because, a long time ago, a seed was planted. That seed serves the same function as any seed: to take root in the place it was planted. So, now grafted to our very souls, is a full-fledged monster of botany that feeds on criticism and sarcasm and insults. Needless to say, there are television shows that use to have my wholehearted endorsedment, which are minus a viewer due to their high levels of sarcasm and criticism. Even when I'm around individuals whose conversation basically consists of 0ne insult after another, I find myself grappling to find a way to one-up them. Afterwards, in a moment of clarity, I regret letting myself get carried away. I guess I could always become apathetic.

Are there only 2 viable options? Are we either constantly criticizing or intermittently not caring? Is it some combination of the two, nothing in excess?

Certainly there is some other answer.

There is, but it's not this guy.

I think it has something to do with this:

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Care passionately. Take an active stance against apathy. The things that are from God are light. What I am advocating is a level of discernment towards the thoughts that enter our heads. Discerning thought is the enemy of critical thought. It makes decisions without its foundation being on any parameters that we could come up with on our own. More on discernment is found in Matthew 7:15-20.

Thanks to those who encouraged me with their own words. I feel honored that I have friends who see the good in me and in others. That is an admirable trait. But as far as motivations go, some reasons for my original diatribe are the following:

I am usually accused of sarcasm. More than most. If you've ever been around me for very long, you have probably heard me plead my case: "You're not using the true definition of sarcasm. There is a difference between facetiousness and sarcasm. The word you want is facetious." This is important because:

As the infamous John Wayne Lusk commented to me at celebration, if enough people use a word the wrong way, the definition of the word changes. This is why comptroller is a word, and irregardless is becoming one. Sarcasm and general irony are coalescing into one broad definition, and it would be in everyone's best interests if they didn't.

Finally, although I ardently defend my actions, if I look closely, I do use sarcasm. I am critical of others. If I can realize this, then maybe I can become more aware of the adverse affect it has on myself and on others. And when I am through plank-pulling in myself, maybe I can say a few things to encourage others to be aware as well (note: not through yet).

I guess this has turned into a criticism of criticism. I never said I didn't endorse circular reasoning...Rest assured I may tone down criticism, but I won't refrain from saying something flippant about this.

Edict on Sarcasm

2009-05-03T02:16:00.002-05:00

Is the title sarcastic?

No.

I just wanted to take this opportunity and officially declare my glaring disapproval of sarcasm. Of course, many who read this will say to me on this day, "Skolnick, Skolnick have we not seen you be sarcastic before?" And on that day I shall say to them: Away from me, I never knew ye. I have had this discussion with a heralded group of people, notably Mary Gray and Greg Wilson. But, yes, I do have a bone to pick with sarcasm.
As a result of the internets, and the televisions wreaking havoc on our souls, in our society, sarcasm has taken a lofty position. It has now become complementary to tell someone that they are sarcastic- as praises go, it is on par with being witty or intelligent. And although some have taken it to mean the same as those, it certainly does not. Most people who are unapolegetically sarcastic are both witty and intelligent, but it doesn't go both ways. Now it has come to this. I'm ready to take it down a few pegs.
On a regular basis, we break conversational rules, or maxims. We are irrelevant. We pay too much attention to detail. We say things we don't mean, at least in the literal sense. The last example is irony in its most basic form. Using words to convey something that we do not want the audience to take at face value. Sarcasm is different. More or less, it is irony, used with malicious intent. Sarcasm has a life of its own. Most forms of criticism can be heavy, but this is worse-it adds on the expense of being made fun of. Who wants that? Where sarcasm really gains steam is in junior high. And as a result of this trend, the world is beginning to resemble Whittier Middle School a little more than I want it to (don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed it, but there are some things I could have done without).
Now, don't get me wrong. I am not unstained in this. I do use sarcasm (though not to the extent I am accused of it), and will probably slip up somewhere in the future. But I am going to try to not do that. You can do what you want.

nearing despair

2009-04-11T18:26:00.006-05:00

Some thoughts on today:
That is, today, in the context of yesterday and tomorrow.

Yesterday, on the day of Preparation, a man went to Sheol. He went quietly and there were little there to grieve his passing. There is much recorded about that day. But for this day of Passover, the annals of history are discrete. My friend left me yesterday, but not before I could leave him. , save a few. What else is there, when the walls come down? We fled yesterday. Traded trust for comfort and loyalty for safety. And today? Today, we cannot look each other in the eyes. Today, we look for one to blame. Today, we grieve him. Nothing matters anymore. He even raised others, but can he raise himself? I do not know if I can believe that. There is nothing left for us now. Those in power want to find us. I am ready to go to them. Hope itself is fading.

So you think you're a philosopher

2009-03-14T02:34:00.004-05:00

well, you're not.
and neither am I.

I Just finished my first-half semester since spring of '05. That's four years, for those of you keeping score at home. It started out without much fanfare. Sure, there was an AP article a few months ago, but (surprisingly) a ticker tape parade was somehow deemed unfeasible. I say : If the public wants it, let them have it. Wasn't that one of the campaign slogans? Nevertheless, I decided to trod through this travesty and haven't looked back. Except right now. I remember my first day of school like it was January:

Like many addled adolescents, I stood, paralyzed with unbridled enthusiasm for the impending expedition I was to embark on. I got to my class -PHIL 6593 with plenty of time to spare.
Its official title is: Sem—Contemp Phil (How Do I Go On?)
That's right, How Do I Go On? Class commenced with us stating our names, for the record, and then a slight overview of the course. Most of the schedule was and has been devoted to studying Wittgenstein, who thought he had solved everything about philosophy in a book he wrote in his twenties, only to recant it in a book he wrote later (We are studying the later book).
My second class was PHIL 5523, the next day. This class is Epistemology (the study of knowledge).
What I found out in these classes was this:
Almost all modern philosophy has been dwindled down and devolved into a philosophy of language. The logical postitivists had made it their goal to make it a field of observational evidence only. So, the most intriguing areas in philosophy (all metaphysics and ethics) have been relegated to Xanga status: most people just don't care anymore.

Apparently, though, diving into the deeper waters of philosophy consists of things like:

Using words like adjudicate and normative.
Being extremely offended when non-philosophers use the phrase "begs the question"
Taking fairly simple ideas and construing them in terms that don't really tell us about the real world.

Taking more simple ideas and transplanting them into far-fetched scenarios that make you think: So this theory does not work because this situation that will never happen causes the theory to give unpleasant results.

We all know that the theory of addition says that 2 +2 =4.
But it is possible to imagine a world where 2+2=8. Therefore, because the theory of addition is not able to account for all possible scenarios, it cannot be an all-encompassing theory.

This is an oversimplification, but that is the gist of much of it. It only took pursuing a graduate degree to realize my field had become frivolous. And one could certainly argue that skolnick never had problems with frivolity in the past. On the contrary, in the past I have been an ardent advocate of it. But alas, even the most frivolous have the capacity to tire of it in one way or another. That is not to say I have given up; that is a decision to be made further down the road. Being a philosopher, however, is not a prerequisite to contributing to philosophy. There are still glimmers of hope in it, and I still feel like I have a great deal to say about it. But the theme for me has always been:
What I believe and know to be true is not found on the basis of any argument. Neither is it for anyone else. Not for my friends, my classmates, or my professors, regardless of what they say. Even in the presence of logical necessities, humanity tends to hold strong to what they believe. An evidence of faith, though it does not seem. In this, I do not profess to be distinct. But what I believe once hung on a tree. God pursues humanity.

Autozone

2008-12-20T19:37:00.000-06:00

You shouldn't judge a book by its cover (i. e., title), but what's the rule on blog posts?
Judging by this title, one wouldn't suspect anything profound, in which case they would be right. A mere observation is all I offer: When I go to autozone (which isn't often), I feel this urgent need to convey to the people there that I have much more knowledge about vehicles than I actually possess (which is minimal). I suddenly start sputtering out phrases like the everyday dilettante:

"Yeah, it could be the catalytic converter, but I think I need new spark plugs. Or at least more. This is a V8. How many Vs should I have?"

The mind kicks into overdrive. I start sputtering out words that I haven't even heard before: manifold...intake valve...thermal viscosity breakdown. Am I the only one to suffer from this syndrome? It's like I have to prove to them that they shouldn't dumb things down for me (although they really should). That's all I had to say.

-simon

p.s. Have you ever just decided to keep on hitting refresh on your blogspot profile just to up the number of times people have viewed y0ur profile? Yeah, I haven't done that either- I was just wondering.

IT'S OFFICIAL- OU to readmit Skolnick

2008-12-17T11:48:00.000-06:00

NORMAN,OK (AP)- After four years of misfortune and sorrow, the University of Oklahoma has decided on the readmission of Skolnick. The formerly prestigious college has been in shambles since parting ways with its most prolific scholar. The future looked bleak, but now there is some hope on the horizon. "We like our options, now," says President David Boren. "You can't stop Skolnick. You can only hope to contain him. We were able to look beyond a past mired in controversy and see the enormous opportunity that we had in front of us. Now, we have someone we can build around." It is that same controversy that has some of Boren's supporters up in arms. After accumulating a file two inches thick, culminating in 2 counts of what is only known as "The Adit Breach", his current hiatus was by no means voluntary. Many have doubts that one with such a reputation would be able to return this institution back to glory. Nevertheless, bringing in such a high profile student may do wonders for recruiting purposes. And it is no secret that the university had a certain level of respectability while Skolnick was in attendance. The question is whether or not these two factors are correlated. But for the student, it doesn't seem to matter. "I'm just glad to get a second chance," he said in a telephone interview. When asked to comment on any classes he might take, he declined, saying, "I don't take classes, they take me. Don't print that. I don't know what it means. Maybe Epistemology." He also declined to comment on the accusations that he was self-involved and suffered from a number of ego problems. His website did release a statement, but it was so entrenched with distortions, misquotes, and inane dialog that one wonders if it could be taken seriously at all. Nevertheless, it has been reprinted in the previous 19 sentences, including this one and any of them that follow. So it seems that, for now, everyone around this great city can breath a little easier. Mostly because pollen levels are low.

if I only had life insurance

2008-07-08T20:06:00.000-05:00

This is my first post in about a year and a half. Since then, I have done many things. But one thing I haven't done is post on my blog. Today, I was contemplating faking my own death and sleeping on the island in the middle of the duck pond. I could bring a fishing pole and a sleeping bag and be done with it. Faking death is the easy part. I could fish and then clean them, but there wouldn't be anyway to cook them without someone noticing. A foreman grill would be the best option, but I doubt that there are any outlets on the island. And before anyone corrects me, I am aware that there are 2 islands, so, in order to clarify, I am speaking of the larger one. There is more vegetation to hide in on that one. Another concern is that I don't have a current oklahoma fishing license, and even if I got one, it would expire, so my goal of never leaving would be ruined. They do sell lifetime licenses, but that's a bit out of my price range. Now you may ask, why go to the trouble of obeying a law when you dont plan on being seen ever again? Simple: if I do get caught they'll just have me on trespassing and loitering. But if they could prove I've been fishing, then, that's strike three, and to the courthouse for me.
Now, you may say, "hey, man don't you like it here?" Sure. Earth isn't a bad place to grow up. But sometimes you need a break. Paul and Jesus and others lamented some of their time on this green earth, and I am certainly not to that point, but it would be an interesting experiment. I wonder at what point John the Baptist just walked to the river and started yelling at people. Did he tell his mom and dad? "Hey, I'm going to the Jordan. I'll probably be there for a few years... Oh don't worry, I'll just eat locusts and honey. No problems. Don't bother bringing me a sandwich." But he just up and went. I'll bet Mary and Elizabeth had some interesting conversations.
Elizabeth: So I hear Jesus is appenticing to be a carpenter. That is wonderful. He is growing up to be a fine man, and perhaps he could one day even lead this nation.
Mary: Yes, and I hear that John still is living near the Jordan. How is that going? Does he have enough camels' hair?
(extened pause)
and so on.

anyway,
thats all i've got for today
(apologies for being so scatterbrained... its been awhile and i can get carried away).
-whomever God wants me to be

Freelance poetry

2006-11-16T17:39:00.000-06:00

here are a few things I have written recently:

First, a piece honoring my sandals, which, this summer, saw me safely through Chicago, England, a war in Lebanon, Jordon, and back to England again, where they became too much of a nuisance. It got to the point where it felt like there was more foot support in walking barefoot than in wearing those, so I had to ditch them. I wanted to wear them until they broke, but these were not going to break. Sure, they had holes in the soles and I would stub my big toe all the time because of how worn they were in that place, but that is essentially why I must honor them.

An Ode to Sandals:

My pair of flip-flops,
They died today.
I just walked by
And threw them away.
It was a difficult
Thing for me to do.
(Getting rid of
my best pair of shoes).
I wept very much
and was obviously grieved.
I miss them already;
There is no relief.
"So what?" you say.
"Who cares?" I hear.
My friend, you would care
If you could see my tears.
So, I decided I might
Commemorate on a whim
The sandals that took me everywhere,
And hence, I shall describe them:
Their hue consists mostly of khaki.
Every time I bring them home,
My mother has called them tacky.
They are quite tattered
around the edge of the sole.
Throughout there are impressions
In the shapes of bowls.
And let's not forget
The hole in the left heel.
It's the size of a half-dollar.
Every rock I step on I feel.
Finally, things became kaput.
And I ended up barefoot.

(written in the first couple of days of august-06, with some slight alterations just now.)

and here is another one, best described as a personal challenge molded after the sermon on the mount:

Hunger and Thirst

If you don't intend
To preach to the poor,
If the only heart
You want healed is yours,
If you are not willing
To let the captives go free,
If you are refusing
To let the blind see,
If you don't intend
On raising the dead,
Then don't even bother
To get out of bed.

yep, it is kind of simple, but it has some inspirational value.

that's enough for this entry; more on my summer and other thoughts later.

school's out for the summer

2006-05-18T14:27:00.000-05:00

well.

This turbulent year is finally over. And it is ending on a high note. I feel very good about what is in store for next year, be it in Chanute or elsewhere. I have had a lot of fun here. Once I got over the differences of things, it became very easy to do my job. I still have some problems recruiting, but it looks like we will have a solid class coming in next year. It's weird. So far, I have applied for two jobs that are much better than mine, and I am not even sure that I would want to take them if they were offered. I mean, I am just starting to like this place. Unfortunately, there are people that I will probably never see again. But that will happen whether I stick around another year or not. I regret not getting more writing done, and although I squandered much of my time here, I think I made up for it in the last few months. I wish I knew more of what the future held for me, but I guess it is just a matter of trusting in Christ.

Although it has been a month since I went back to Norman, I am in no hurry to return. Sure I have friends there I would like to see, but I have friends here to whom I do not want to say farewell. And that reaction is completely surprising to me. My mind has difficulties believing my heart because of this. I would have never believed it would be possible for me to be indifferent towards Norman. And now, it is even more drastic. I feel like I may even prefer Chanute. But it is crazy to even start to talk like that. It started with the breakup, but I think a larger reason for my change of heart is that I am spending more time around other believers. When you can rely on others that are believing on the name of Jesus, it can be a powerful and uplifting thing.

I was going to write something very significant...

2006-04-29T21:33:00.000-05:00

let's see if I can remember...

Driving back from Pittsburg today, I attempted communication with a divine
being. He showed me his perspective on my recent life.

He showed me so much love and grace throughout this that I am to the point of no regret, and that is saying a lot considering how I have felt as little as a month ago.

Now, as if that were not significant enough, here is something else, one of the most important lessons that God has ever revealed to me.

One year ago, at this time, I was in the middle of what the Christian community would call a "mountaintop experience." That is, I was in the word, and felt a nearness to God that I had never envisioned. Christians speak a lot about hills and valleys, and I had heard a lot about it, but I had no wisdom on the subject. What I had heard is that, in our spiritual walk, we will have hills and valleys, so eventually, people walking up the hill will reach the top, and have to go down. I just knew that I was traversing the largest hill I had ever been in contact with, and I liked it.

My thoughts were:

Why do I have to come down? Does this hills and valleys talk have any biblical backing?

I even asked a friend if that was the case. He didn't seem to have an answer that satisfied me. Much to my dismay, I came down. Not only came down, but I was the mental image you get when you hear the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. I have been in the valley now for about nine or ten months. It is not easy - any time it rains, your feet get soaking wet. So why did I have to come down?

The answer is found in John 15. We are the branches. Every branch that bears fruit He prunes, so that it will bear even more fruit. Everytime we go through a valley, it is not God punishing us, but God pruning us to bear more fruit. Our problem is that we have taken this hill-valley thing way too far. We associate going through the valley with sinning, but it was not meant to be that way. When we go through the valley, that is when it becomes most difficult to avoid the flesh and follow Christ. So some of us even justify ourselves, substituting the words "sinning" with "going through the valley." The important thing is to remember that valleys are a necessary part of walking with Christ, and submitting to Him is the hardest in these periods.

For whatever reason, my thoughts feel somewhat disjointed on this post. Perhaps next time I will be able to paraphrase this thought a little better. I had no problem saying it on tuesday during bible study. Oh well.

mere thoughts

2006-04-28T10:07:00.000-05:00

It rained today and I doubt it is done. We had a meet but it got cancelled. And I should have been able to go recruiting but all the high school meets also are probably rained out.
I am reading Chesterton's Everlasting Man. I think I have been trying to finish it for about 5 months now. It is even more difficult to read than Orthodoxy. There are some points where he puts everything together quite beautifully, but most of the time the writing is so intellectual, you do not remember the point he was trying to make to begin with, which makes it seem like it is all very disconnected and has no point. He does have a point, but most days I do not have the intellectual endurance to keep up. And most of the time, I have questions like "So why is he talking about this?"
I am approaching the point where my looks are strange enough to get a double take. I have noticed it. People you pass by, they make the kind of eye contact that makes me wonder for a split second if I know them. Eye contact with a hint of familiarity. I am unkempt enough to illicit this reaction from others. My beard is nearing a personal record for volume, and my hair, I am pretty sure, is the longest it has ever been. And I think I will be able to go another month before I have to do anything about it.
I am very tempted to start on my book, but a title alludes me. The 8th Day would be good, but there was an art exhibit at Arizona state that had that title. I don't know if that title would be sued or what. I doubt it, but one can never be too careful.
Also, I applied for a job at Florida International yesterday. Not any big expectations for it, but at least I actually am trying. That's about it. I gotta go.
-s

24

2006-04-22T01:59:00.000-05:00

My age is now synonomous with a television show.
Today started out not so good. I spent a lot of my time by myself at certain track meets. But I prayed a lot. His heart for me is good, but I get so irritated at myself for making the same mistakes over and over. I will probably go home tomorrow (22nd), but I am not certain on what to do when I get there. I would see Devon and Sam, but I don't think they'll be back yet. I got some good ideas for my story today, and should probably write them down. I need to trim my fingernails.
(this was just an obligatory post, as it was my birthday. I will go into more detail later.)

-skolnick

learning

2006-04-10T22:10:00.000-05:00

It has been awhile since my last post. Nearly two weeks. Times are fairly good now. The last couple of days, it has been difficult to find intimacy with God, but that is only because of a lack of persistance on my part. One important thing I have been learning is that I have to have faith that Jesus is who He said He is, and more importantly, can do what He says He can do. Obviously, this is plain and simple; but I often find myself ignoring this truth. I must believe that he can not only deliver me from the consequences of my past sins, but as a new creation in Christ, sin no longer has the same grip on me as before. I am not saying that I live without sin, but we know it is possible to live in this exact moment nearing the life that Jesus wants us to live. Nobody's looking for or expecting perfection, but it is within reach for us to follow Christ in this moment. Paul said that if he sins, then he knows that it is sin living within him, not he that sins. That is why we must put our flesh under the submission of the new creation. I continually pray that I will have the faith that Christ is my deliverer and conquerer.

I am way behind for the lebanon trip. I should ask God if it should be a bigger priority...although I think I already know the answer.

I am embracing Chanute more. I am starting to see that He does have a plan even if I don't have the wisdom to acknowledge it. I am finally optimistic about what God can accomplish here and now I realize I shouldn't have been apathetic to it.

I bought Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe. It was expensive, but it is one of my favorite movies. Watched it with a couple of the athletes and did my best to keep from tearing up... especially in the scene where Aslan is about to die.

Lent is almost over. For about half of it, I ignored the main idea behind it. That is, when I feel like eating a burger or logging onto facebook, I need to remember that I am doing this in remembrance of the forty days our Lord spent in the desert without food or water. I need to remember that I am "crucified with Christ."

I am nearly addicted to Waterdeep. In the last three weeks or so, I have found much of the music I used to listen to somewhat depressing. The last few weeks I have pretty much only listened to Waterdeep, which is amazing, considering that before Ryan gave me that cd, I had barely even listened to anything by them. But the buzz I think is slowly wearing off.

That about wraps it up. I pray that God gives me strength and grace for this next week, but also focus. That I may not get wrapped up into affairs that keep me from looking to Him.

-skolnick

2006-03-30T01:38:00.000-06:00

Well. My spring break is over. Back to coaching and recruiting and being an RA in the middle of nowhere. But it really is not all that bad. I believe it was the first time ever that I wanted to come back here instead of staying in Norman. Frankly, April might be the first month ever without visiting Norman, and I really do not mind. And although it was not exactly an easy thing to go through God has given me the grace to walk me through it. He has shown me that I may harbour bitterness that seems unrecognizable from the outset, but can lead to death. He has shown me that I relied too much on my relationships in Norman as opposed to my relationship with Him. I found that, when I am in any kind of relationship, I should do my best to include Him in everything I do. "Seek first the kingdom," which I have not been doing lately. I do have faith that he will turn this situation into something even better than what He already has. I thank God that He can put me in a place where I can be led entirely by Him.

my first entry

2006-03-08T22:51:00.000-06:00

well. not to be redundant, but this is my first entry on a blog. I started this because I have a lot of free time, and I need to practice my writing skills. I've been here in kansas since august; that's about seven months of exile. I call it exile, but it's not nearly that bad- I still get to go back to Norman about once or twice a month. But it feels like exile. I don't get to see my friends too often; and I have felt disconnected from the world more often than I would like. Still, I do believe that God is working something in me- and I think that, in the end, it will be worth it. I suppose I am nominally concerned over who will be reading this, but I have resolved not to tell anyone about it, so for now it is mainly a personal thing. I was tempted to tell one of my friends about it the other day (yesterday). And that's pretty bad considering that I had not even posted anything yet. I try to thank God for His mercy and ask for it every day. Wisdom is also something I ask for a lot. The team is doing alright, and I am interested to see how much improvement can be made during outdoor season. I still need to get my passport, but I will probably wait until spring break. Hopefully, I will be able to keep myself from making transmissions of this nature in the future. This isn't meant to be another personal journal; I would like it to be more like a place where I can talk candidly, but not necessarily about my own experiences. That's all.